Boys are unique creatures. I know because I created 2 of them and have been learning about their particular species for the last 10 years.
Last weekend my oldest had the BIG TALK. We went through all of the typical parenting concerns about the issue. We wanted him to hear it from us first. My biggest issue was that he would understand that women were not to be demoralized under any circumstance. He and I were out to lunch (a perk of homeschooling) and were playing a word game. The word "sex" came up and I asked if he knew what it meant. He said, "I'm not a child. I've heard that before."
"Okay. So what DO you know."
"There are different genders, Mom."
Right. But there is more to it. So I start to tell him and he stops short.
"Can I just have this conversation with Dad?"
Yes. Thank God, you can. I didn't want to have it anyway. So I took the youngest away for the weekend and told my husband his job was to make sure the oldest got to football on time, showered and learned about sex. I would be home on Sunday.
From what I heard, the conversation went well and he learned something (my son, hopefully not my husband).
But from the mother's perspective, I was nervous. What did this mean? My little guy, my buddy...the one who still can't match socks...would he still want me to lay down with him and tell him stories at night? Was he going to stop asking me to cut off his crusts? At the poker table I will take anyone down but when it comes to my boys, I am a complete sap. They own me. It's true.
I played it cool and didn't say a word. Neither did he. We went through our normal routines...football practice, soccer practice, cross-country practice, church, school. After running 4 miles in the rain (him, not me. I sat in the car reading a magazine) we went home. Little guy was at soccer practice. He took a shower and was going to watch TV. I was so happy to have some alone time. I lit candles and put on a chick flick. I was in my room in my flannel pj's enjoying life when I hear him ask if I could please watch TV with him.
"In a minute!" (It was Ashton Kutcher and I had cucumbers and blue cheese. I wasn't going ANYWHERE!)
But then my mommy conscience started and I paused the movie, grabbed my pillow and headed downstairs. There he was in his pajamas, wet hair and sports blanket watching the Disney Channel. I crept under the blanket and was basking in the memories of this little boy with all of his little boy goodness and thanking God that I hadn't lost all of it yet.
Then it happened. He reached over and grabbed my hand. He held it in his and I felt like he was transferring something to me. (This is the moment where you would say, Awwww.....) but before you do that, let me warn you...I started to get a warm and fuzzy feeling right before I looked down and said,
"Is that a toenail?"
And he cracked up laughing!!!
"It was so big and disgusting. I just had to share."
There were a million thoughts going through my head. But my reaction was a kiss to his forehead and the response,
"That IS disgusting. And hilarious. It's disgustarious."
Thank God for little boys. I treasure every disgusting and hilarious moment.
